... reflection of the nature of my cynicism. Most likely your new year wont be any better than the last one. You're going to continue to commit yourself to the same mistakes you did last year, use the same lame ass excuses for why you did it and feel the same way you used to after wards. Yeah sure, things change and people do change. But not nearly as much as you'd like to think. People don't want to change, they wanna stay the same stupid way they've always been regardless whether it works or not, regardless whether it's good or not. People don't like change even when it's for the better.
The sad truth is that in most cases, people couldn't even care enough to consider that somethings wrong with them, because we are not all God's beautiful children. Some of us, are assholes with no noticeable excuse for being that way. Some of us, are pushovers that in wanting to be respected by others, forget to respect ourselves. Some just walk through life unaffected by the things that happen around them, untouched by words and actions that would offend others. Who of these have more of a right to exist? Who should be pitied more? All of them or none? We could easily say for arguments sake, and most people might be likely to agree with this, that assholes have less rights. Or at least, they should have less rights. But the twist to that story is that we've all been assholes at one point or another, sure some more than others, but not even the saintliest of people have absolutely no skeletons in there closet. So maybe, the reasons for being an asshole should define who has more rights. Maybe the "why" is more important than the "who". I would say it is, but that it also lacks the required depth.
Pain, both emotional and physical are very subjective. Just because your most painful moment isn't on the same level as mine on an objective scale doesn't invalidate it. Your most painful moment in life is still comparable to my most painful moment, even if yours is a broken nail and mine would be parents dying at the age of 6. No, it's not a real example, and at that, it's a bit of; from one extreme end of the spectrum to another. But it serves a nice point. Pain, or rather the experience of pain is subjective, making it objective helps no one, but it's still important that the objective scale is present is some cases.
What am I trying to say with all of this? I don't really know. Is it better for the other person that you're self-aware? Some people think that ignorance is more forgivable than other things. I tend to disagree. Ignorance, stupidity or whatever you call it means that person never made a choice how to be. Because they chose to not choose. Someone being aware is always making a choice, something I forget sometimes. It might not always be the best choice or the nicest choice, but it is still always a choice. Which brings up the question of why again. Why make a noticeable "bad" choice if you're aware of the consequences and reactions of that choice? Are there reasons under the surface you're missing? Bits of information you don't have that makes a seemingly "bad" choice in fact, the lesser of two evils. Probably sometimes, other times, not so much, other times it might actually be ignorance/stupidity, because even the most self-aware of people will not always be self-aware. Awareness is not a constant state of mind.. or well.. it is in one sense, but awareness is more of a steady flow of varying levels of self-study.. self-doubt.. of trying to objectively observe a subjective state of mind, whilst it's happening.
So what am I saying? I'm think, I'm saying that people don't change, don't expect them to change. If you're displeased with your life, stop complaining and do something about it. It's not on anyone else's responsibility to fix it for you, or even to listen to you for that matter. But be thankful that some do. When you've been an asshole, say that you're sorry. Listen to people who try to tell you your worst features, they're probably right. Don't assume that people are evil, don't assume they're nice either. Give them the time to show you instead. The best present you can give anyone is time, not stuff. And last but not least, love like you wanna be loved and not the other way around.
..Welcome to Another..crappy year, it wont be any better than what you make of it. So make better than the best of it.
