You know what I think you deserve after all those baking preparations you did yesterday?
Some limericks, that’s what.
Yeah, I know I know, you’re just lost for words from how blessed and special you feel in receiving this awesome gift. No, save your gratitude for later, I might need a kidney some day.
For those of you that don’t know what a limerick is, here’s a limerick that explains what a limerick is:
Writing a Limerick's absurd,
Line one and line five rhyme in word,
And just as you've reckoned
They rhyme with the second;
The fourth line must rhyme with the third.
Clever, right? Well, now that you know what I limerick is, let’s get right to a Christmas one so that this post will have a tangent with the overarching Christmas countdown.
When Rudolph got hurt in a fight
He couldn't lead Santa that night
Too much Christmas cheer
And eggnog, and beer,
His red nose was shiny, all right!
I’ve only written a limerick once before—back in school—and it wasn’t very good, I imagine since I can’t remember it, so bear with me as I try to summarize “The 12 days of Christmas” into a short limerick.
My true love to me gave
Birds that I first had to shave,
Pluck, stuff and bake.
Into one giant cake
That I then ate
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| Image courtesy of Zach Weiner and his wonderful smbc-comic.com. |
No post about limericks would be complete without the classic, “There once was a man from Nantucket”, so here’s the most offensive one I could find.
There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose dick was so long he could suck it.
And he said with a grin
As he wiped off his chin,
“If my ear were a cunt, I would fuck it.”
