Wednesday, 28 December 2011

Can I Stick My Head In It?

Apparently this is 2011's hot Christmas item. For people who can't afford more expensive wine but like to make their neighbours think they can.. or something like that I suppose. Does it actually work? Beats me, I haven't tried it.. I'm obviously not going to try it.. because I can think of better things to spend $59.99 on.

Allegedly it uses the power of magnets to realign the particles in your beverages. Or some similar mumbo jumbo (colour me sceptical) like that and according to about half of the review, "It totally works!".. the other half obviously being more towards the "bah humbug!" attitude. If anyone I know ever happens to buy one, I will so 'effin try it.. and let you know.. double blind study -style, of course. I didn't even know SkyMall was an actual real place (references in "How I Met Your Mother", episode "The Goat") until I read about this "Wine and Liquor Accelerator" -thingy.. that honestly.. looks a bit like a triple headed masturbation aid tool. Just imagine it without the wine glass.

Someday, when my morals have gone even further down the drain and I feel a strong urge to make reality of the saying "A fool and his money are soon parted" I will invent the DeAger 3000! And I will spell it intentionally with an exclamation mark. It will be a machine that prevents decay (both physical and mental).. you know.. "ageing".. using the awesome powers of make believe and unicorn farts.

Pre-order now, for your Deluxe DeAger 3000!, including a small dose of my own farts for a limited time only.

Yet I can't help but wonder, if it does work.. what happens if you stick your head in it?