Tuesday, 24 May 2011

Detox, Part Deux

Since Nine Days Later was technically Part One. Technically. Damn it, here I thought the worst was over.. but oh no, turns out that detoxing from a substantial amount of caffeine and refined sugar is not as peachy as I thought after a week. I used to drink 3-4 cups of Robusta a day.. now I'm down to 1-2 cups.. one Arabica and one Robusta (we only have Robusta at work). I also used to consume about 50 grams of refined sugar in total with all of my ditch water coffee. Now I don't used sugar at all, no matter how foul tasting the coffee is. With milk at work, and black at home. Are all of these tiny little details important to any of you? Probably not, but for sake of making a detailed report of my changing of habits I feel I shouldn't neglect details. And to answer your question, yes, you have to suffer for that. But imagine that I said that with a sparkle in my eye..

So yeah, at around the 15th of May I figured that although things had been a bit rough, it was just uphill from here.. peachy..

In my mind, it was like this.. but awesome-er.

But as time went by I kind of noticed that no.. the 15th was more of a fluke than a preview of what was to come. So since then I've mostly still felt sluggish, tired and generally uninspired to well.. do anything of any kind of importance in life. My wonderful wife has been understanding and supportive, which is really awesome of her. Like today, just as I had shared about how tired I felt, she asked me with a smile (of evil) on her face "How it feels to walk amongst all the other mortals?" It feels like crap is what I told her and began to rant about how this is what it must feel like for Superman. If Superman had a piece of Kryptonite in an eternal state of being shoved up his derrière.

That would be the up the buttocks by the way, for those of you that don't speak French.

So yeah. Turns out my initial expectation of how "easy" this would be was oh so terrible wrong. So instead of feeling "oh sho peachy".. I felt more of a "oh so fuckin' peachy!"

In reality, it was like this. Only worse.

I'm still hoping that I'll start feeling better at some point. But as of right now I'm not really having all too high hopes, let's call it playing safe. For now at least.

If I can just figure out a good way to bring good coffee with me in the morning. I still haven't perfected the Manhattan Blow Job but it's a hell of a lot better than my other options. My biggest concern at the moment is the act of transporting the embeejay (I named it, I'm in charge of pronunciation as well). To put things simply.. I need to have it in a better cup than my current one, something where the "lid" doesn't fall of at any given turn. Arnolds sells Smoothies and Fruities and their cups would probably be quite excellent for my purpose. Actually come to think of it, maybe I should ask them if I could have a couple of them. I doubt they would mind the free advertisement despite the fact that I wouldn't be using them for their intended purpose.

So detoxing.. it's still a bitch. But maybe it will start to turn around at some point. But days like this (yesterday was worse) I feel like every caffeinated beverage is calling out for me to consume them, to quench my mighty Superman-ly thirst with their deliciously carbonated diabetes inducing goodness. But I won't. I'm stronger than that.

Well that, or just too poor to be able to afford them.

Yeah, it's probably the second one more.

They're in my dreams.. taunting me..